| waste. |
[Feb. 11th, 2011|11:57 pm] |
a girl sure can hope.
maybe this girl should just give up.
---------------------------------------------------
gd night my lovely. |
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| gloat. |
[Feb. 1st, 2011|06:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
this is a self-appreciating post.
so if you have a weak stomach or severe gag reflex... do not continue reading.
-----------------------------------
but 1st an update on myself.
i lost 15kg!
i bought a macbook and su was there!
i bought a chanel caviar mini flap!!!
i am still seeing faizal though. nothing new there....
and i still have a job!!!
----------------------------------------
ok, on to the gloating.
i like the fact that i am I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T
i like the fact that i don't mind being alone. sometimes its annoying.
but its not a biggie.
some ppl just can't stand it though.
ya'll need to get urselves a ebook reader. dat helps.
maybe i just like to get lost in my own world.
mostly its bcos, i dun wanna wake up... feeling so lost when the person i soooo depend on is not there anymore.
your life, live it.
no need to wait for this person, that person. you got something you wanna do, go ahead.
the longer you wait, the less you'll enjoy it.
start doing something for urself. you deserve it, you gotta live with that face in the mirror... better have something abt it tat you love.
life shldn't be about waiting. why wait? you ain't got lotta time on you.
your body can fail on you anytime. you are just living on a rental. when its due, god would want it back.
so stop with the waiting. i hate ppl who can't stand being with themselves.
i can't stand ppl who don't believe in themselves.
what's with the self doubt? have you killed yourself anytime today?
you lived this long... what's stoppin you?
get your shit together bitch. and stop whinin cos i quit listening.
i wanna see what ur doing.
dats another thing i like abt myself.
i like to plan and think about doing something...
cos i when its time to do it. it gets done. no noise. just actions.
dats why the ppl i know won't ask me abt my decisions, cos they now i've thought abt it from all angles.
i would have asked 100 ppl and read 100 books/essay/reviews/opinions.
there's a difference between living your life and living recklessly.
so decide what you want to do and do it.
being dependent is a mental handicap.don't shoot urself in the legs even before ur given a gun.
dun be a stoopid bitch abt it either, do your research.
----------------------------
i am still not giving up on paris.
and a man that makes me wait on the bigger things in life, is no man deserving a spot by my side.
when i run, i usually don't come back.
think about what you're abt to say... don't talk shit to me.
gd night my lovely. |
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| when i grow up... |
[Dec. 9th, 2010|06:04 pm] |
i want to denounce all my uncles including my dad off my FAMILY LIST.
usually... i dun give a shit about what ppl say about me.
but i guess... when ppl are just soooo jealous of what you have...
they will not stop now will they?
so okay, fine.
you win. you got to me.
but that will not solve your fucking problems, you asshole!!!
you will still be poor.
your daughter will still be 30, a virgin and unwedded.
you son is still fucking his best fren's mom.
your other daughter still calls me up asking for money... AND THEN LIE TO HER HUSBAND SAYING IT WAS ME... YOU ASKED FOR MONEY.
that whore. i'm so sure she's a prostitute in her early years...
and your other daughter is having an affair with an indian man.
your twin son... knocked up some girl and now has to live up to his responsibilities...
YOUR FAMILY IS FUCKED UP.
NOT MINE.
YOU NEED THAT MONEY I EARNED TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY HAPPY.
THE MONEY THEY THOUGHT YOU HAVE???
YOU DON'T HAVE SHIT YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!
WHAT DID YOU EVER DO FOR OUR FAMILY???
NOTHING! NOTHING BUT CAUSE US HURT AND DESPAIR!!!
I DUN UNDERSTAND HOW I EVEN PUT UP WITH YOUR SHIT.
NEXT TIME, I'M GONNA SPIKE YOUR DRINK WITH TEQUILA AND RAT POISON.
BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE EXTERMINATED.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO DIE BCOS I HAVE SO MUCH DIRT TO LAY OUT IN FRONT OF YOUR DOORSTEP WHEN YOU'RE 6 FEET UNDER.
I HOPE YOU DIE... RIGHT THIS FUCKING SECOND!
I AM SO ANGRY THAT MY AUNTS ACTUALLY BUY HIS SHIT!!!
LIKE ALL MY EFFORTS DUN MATTER???
WHAT THE FUCK?
OUH WAIT, I GET IT... I'M NEVER GOOD ENUFF.
I'M JUST THE MONEY MAKER RIGHT?
GUESS WAD? I'M CUTTING DOWN YOUR BUDGET YOUR UNGRATEFUL COW.
I DUN CARE ANYMORE YOU PUT ME THRU SCH.
THE FACT THAT YOU BELIEVE THAT ASSHOLE MORE THAN WHAT I'VE DONE...
IS DISGUSTING. I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.
NO MORE. IF YOU WANT MONEY, YOU EARN IT. JUS LIKE OW YOU TAUGHT ME.
YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN MOTHERFUCKERS... ROT IN HELL. |
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| 1st day of everyday. |
[Sep. 6th, 2010|12:26 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | no bullshit - chris brown | ] |
i quit my job.
took a 2 week rotting at home break.
and later i'm staring my new job!!
woohooo!!
excited and scared at the same time.
starting somewhere totally new and the person who hired me still thinks i'm a waste of his money.
damn.
big hole to fill there.
but hey, its my 1st day so i get a pass don't i?
hmmmm... i'll to kick some ass while i'm at it.
--------------------------------------------
gonna iron my pants, blow dry my hair... and go to slp.
---------------------------------------------
gonna meet Mr nazir later for break fast.
i feel weird calling him MR Nazir while i'm no longer his student?
urggh... nehmind. but hey! i get to meet my fave teacher of all time. so dat is GREAT!
--------------------------------------------
Pekjal is getting me the latest ipod nano for my birthday.
i'm pleasantly suprised!
happy, i'm happy.
gd night my lovely. |
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| we are... the youth of the nation... |
[Aug. 15th, 2010|06:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | love the way you lie - eminem. | ] |
that doesn't give a shit.
seriously, i'm trying to do something nice for somebody.
and besides the geeks hu are naturally nice ppl... the rest?
fine, revel in your cool lives... and your cool friends.
you won't age and you won't know what its like to be unappreciated huh?
i don't understand such ppl.
busy doesn't mean you can't take 5 mins of your time to do a simple thing...like smile?
no?
fine.
----------------------------------------------------
making money is a serious thing.
it requires a lot of my attention and time.
-----------------------------------------------------
su is in my hood now!!!
woohoo!
-------------------------------------------------------
i just bought my 1st Lv.
i'm so happy.
i love her to bits.
wad bag?
i don't kiss and tell.
sorrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
----------------------------------------
gd nite my lovely. |
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| smack them lipssss |
[Jun. 28th, 2010|10:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  flirty | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | find your love - drake | ] |
after my lady gaga lipstick from mac...
i found that...i actually...in love with mac lip products...
usually, i jus go for bobbi brown...
i loveee the colors... like any nude color is a good color...
but bobbi brown is pretty expensive... one small teeny vial of gloss costs like 33 bucks?
nonsense...
i just got back... and got myself creme d nude lipstick and c-thru lipglass...
going for the j.lo, sunkissed and glowy look...
wanted to get the angel and underage combo...
but... decided...nah... tink i'll hold back o the pinks for a bit...
wonder wads my next mac purchase will be... ehhhehehe
-------------------------------------
if i dun spend anymore money, i'll have enuff money to book my trip to paris by the end of this mth...
ehhhehehhee... can't wait!!!!
goyard bag... here me come...
gd nite my lovely... |
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| how time flies. |
[May. 2nd, 2010|01:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
i can't believe i have quite a handful of long-term relationships in my frenship basket.
and i also can't believe dat i'm in a 3 yrs +++ relationship wit pekjal.
damn. hw am i capable of dat?
---------------------------------------------
i tink im doing great in this staying commited thing.
i got su to thank for dat.
su taught me the most important thing in life.
is dat doing the right thing for yourself and not what others think is right for you.
i'm getting the hang of it.
and im glad that some things i didn't do is actually the right thing.
like stop dating band boys.
i do talk to them occasionally...and they do occasionally ask me out.
i don't go out and if i feel like a dick at times... i jus stood them up.
ahahhaa
and guess wad? the most persistant ones... are married now.
huh.... thank god i'm not stoopid.
not anymore.
-----------------------------------------
wadever me n pekjal have... we've got it good.
and i want to keep it.
i want to keep it forever.
if i can hve dat with su... i dun see why i can't have it wit him.
no... no wedding bells yet.
we jus wanna have fun,
dats another gd lesson to learn too.
only settle down wen ur ready to let go ur single life.
wen u KNOW that being married jus makes ur life MUCH,MUCH BETTER.
as long as you tink dat ur better off single... stay single.
dun hurt a precious relationship with divorce.
its such a waste.
i mean really... the wedding cost is not cheap...
--------------------------------
going to mac and buy lotsa lipglosses later!!!
i hope they still have the lady gaga lipstick... its such a wearable pink... i wannntttt...
gd nite my lovely... |
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| race against herself. |
[Apr. 20th, 2010|08:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | distressed | ] |
i'm saving up money right now...
no... not for a wedding.
but to PARIS OR NEW YORK!!!!!
-----------------------------
jus came back from bandung and splurged on a ebook reader...
so saving up is not easy...
and going there by end of the yr is not feasible...
somebody starve me to death cos i really wanna go there sooooo bad....
so wen the money is right...
the destination will be decided...
prior to this.. i was sooo ON to new york...
but den a colleague suggested paris...
both fashion capitals... BOTH FUCKING EXPENSIVE AS SHITTTTT...
ouh well...
money is not a problem rite nw...
bcos i finally get a hang of saving money.
so for now... eyes on the prizeeee...
gd nite my lovely.
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|
| hello, scare! |
[Feb. 15th, 2010|02:50 am] |
its hard to be an adult...
be responsible for your life...
and have a life.
----------------------
god knows how hard i try to get my finances in check.
i do not ever want my family to ever go hungry.
i still remember how it was wen i was in sch.
and all my aunts try not to eat too much outside...
so i can stay in sch.
and the time my aunt got depressed and we all had to starve...
so we can afford food and her medication.
im grateful for the job that i have and the life i have rite now.
----------------------
nothing much has changed.
but i tink life is easier to deal with rite now.
i do feel lonely.
but i am not alone.
i try to push out the negative thoughts aside.
maybe cos i keep looking for things to do.
and buy stuff to keep me busy.
im glad for that.
----------------------
im always glad for the relationships i have with people.
im glad for havin my aunts.
im glad i have my sister.
im glad i have su for a best fren.
and now i can be glad dat pekjal is ard to pick up some of the leftover pieces!!!
heh, kidding hun.
------------------------
wad did i get for balencetime day?
nothing.
my aunt found out i have a boyfren.
hah.
crazy.
no, the craziest thing is...
she found dat that im planning a wedding in few yrs time.
i hope she noes that a few yrs means 5 yrs!!!
i wanna go to sch mangsss...
i nd my degree!!!
-------------------------
gd nite my lovely |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2010|10:28 pm] |
here's my take on this ALLAH hooplah.
when we say god.
its just a generalization of a creator to life as a whole.
be it here, on earth... or out there in the whole universe.
when we say god.
we say, we believe that there is another being responsible to the happenings that we cannot explain thru science or logic.
when we say god.
we are also showing our devotion to this being who gave us life and much,much more.
the only catch?
is to follow its teaching and principles bound to us by the religion we chose.
god is the head figure and the religion is the means of communication and devotion to/for this head figure.
and for different religions, there are different names for this head figure.
this is where the name ALLAH comes in.
ALLAH is the higher power, above everything else.
if you believe in a god. and only one god.
then ALLAH is that name. ALLAH is the name for muslims.
but if you read more into islam, we have 98 other names for ALLAH.
but none of those names is JESUS.
Jesus is ISA in islam.
and MOSES is musa in islam.
they are prophets, the messenger of ALLAH to spread the teachings of islam.
not ALLAH.
if you really want to know why we don't have a face to the name.
its because, the strength of islam is the undying faith we have in allah.
that makes it different than all other religions that put a face to the idea of god.
the face is an illustration. it is not the exact depiction of this idea of god.
we should worship this entity, not idolise it.
we hold this idea close to our hearts not make a complete circus out of it.
------------------------------------------------------
my take on this ALLAH usage on other religions other than islam.
for as long as i can remember.
i have never heard or seen the word ALLAH, used by other religions other than islam.
for example, the hindus had brahma/brahmin.
and jews, eloh/elohmin.
christians, jesus.
buddhists, buddha.
and so on. but let me ask you something...
does all these names = the almighty, the one who can be called and awaken?
does all these names, there is no other entity, greater than the almighty?
the answer is NO.
if jews decide to call eloh/allah. i wouldn't be scratching my head with a huge question mark on my forehead.
why?
because they too believe that there is this entity greater than anything else in the whole universe.
but they haven't?
because why?
if they change eloh to allah... mite as well follow the islamic faith.
yes, ppl mite say that ALLAH is the name. god = allah.
in this, you are wrong.
god is a universal term. you can take a man who claims he can make lighting strike anyware and call him god.
you can pick hu god is.
but allah, you cannot pick. for allah has been in existence long before any life force in this universe.
the thing that i don't get is... christians believe in jesus as their saviour.
they also regard him as god.
if they change jesus to ALLAH in their bibles...
do you know what this means?
they're saying jesus = isa = messenger of ALLAH IS ALLAH.
CONFUSING MUCH?
yes.
of course muslims will be outraged.
because they JUST started to change JESUS to ALLAH.
and also, if they decided to worship ALLAH.
does this means that ALLAH CREATED CHRISTIANITY TOO???
NO.
allah said that islam is the only TRUE RELIGION.
THAT WAS WHAT HAS BEEN DRILLED INTO MY BRAIN SINCE THE BEGINNING.
everything else changes, not religion.
it has been followed for thousands of years...yet, we still worship in the same way as our ancestors.
if you say ALLAH is your GOD but you do not worship ALLAH...
den whats the whole point in changing the names in your bible???
in this, i do not understand.
this will only increase tension.
why does the christians want to do this?
do they not love their religion?
to lose the essence of the religion by diluting?
worshipping ALLAH not in the way ALLAH wants to be worship is blasphemy.
do not humiliate muslims that way.
we are superbly devoted and take no nonsense when it comes to our religion.
WE TRULY BELIEVE THAT ISLAM IS THE ONLY TRUE RELIGION.
AND WE ARE PRIVELEGED TO HAVE FOUND ISLAM.
pls, i beg you... just stick to the ways that have been since the beginning.
there is no need to make changes.
do not inflict anymore hatred to your followers.
i know you hav done nothing wrong... but others mite not be as forgiving.
we have to tolerate one another.
yes.
do have to kill one other over wads ours and wads not?
NO.
we can all live in peace... i truly believe that.
we are all civilized.
i think we can all work together to resolve this matter...without bloodshed.
there are some things that you cannot change.
thee are some things better to be left alone.
---------------------------------------
gd nite my lovely. |
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